Why It's Important to Be Happy: an Instruction for Empaths

You are not a sacrifice, seriously just stop it :-)

Photo by Alyssa Stevenson on Unsplash

First, let me tell you how I grew up in the USSR.

Growing up as a Soviet kid

The Russian culture, as I experienced it as a kid, tells you the following things (sometimes explicitly, sometimes covertly, but it tells you those things none the less):

• Life is miserable, that is how life is

• You are not important individually, your value comes from how others evaluate your worth

• You are not supposed to take up space, let other people take up space. If you try to take up space, you are selfish, you are not a good person, other people will reject you, scold you, look at you funny, you are not going to be wanted, and in the light of your value coming from others, trying to take up space is destined to fail

• You are allowed and encouraged, however, to sacrifice yourself to the wishes good of others (represented by community values, parents and grandparents, teaches, peers, the sacred pie in the sky known as "bright communist future", etc.)

• If you sacrifice yourself to the wishes good of others, you are a good Soviet boy or girl. Hopefully someone will say thanks. And if not, see point one. Life is supposed to be unfair. You can take satisfaction in the fact that you did the right thing

• Good bye

Of course, all this psychological poo is a cunning and brutal energy-mining campaign set up by proverbial vampires. ¹ It was set up many centuries ago.

“Communists” repurposed "Christian guilt" as "communist guilt"—but underneath it, it was still same guilt associated with taking up space.

An important note: It is undeniable that Russian culture—my culture—has produced an incredible amount of beautiful things. Love has been cutting through abuse like grass always cuts through asphalt. As time went—no matter the violation of personal liberty, no matter the abuse—individual people, based on the inalienable and undefeatable beauty and the healing power of the human soul, based on the indestructible connection to the actual God, wrapped some parts of the machine in healing love, poetry, and parts of their soul. That produced the beauty. Individual people did. But the machine is still the machine.

Soooooooo …. this was the world I entered on the day I was born.

I believe I was excited about being born. I entered this world with a smile (I don't remember that but this is what I was told).

I remember being a baby and thinking to myself, while looking at adults, "They don't know that I can think because I cannot talk." That, I remember.

Then I remember being falsely accused of lying by some adult and reacting to it as if I had actually lied. I was embarrassed and hid behind my grandma's back.

Then I remember integrating into the world and learning how to feel other people's pain sharper than what I felt for myself and how to give my freedom to them to soothe their pain.

Then many things happened. It was a constant pull between what my soul knew and what the world was asking me to do.

The addiction of living your life as a praised sacrifice

The dynamic went something like this: You refuse to give parts of you that you don't want to give—and immediately, you get judged, criticized, rejected, accused of selfishness, and—most importantly—you hear the cries of agony from the people you love, whose souls are hungry, and who don't know how to feed their souls unless you cut off a few pieces of yourself and feed the pieces of you to them.

And so you cut off a few pieces of yourself and feed it to them. Then you feel your own pain. On the positive side, you become more like them. And then they accept you, and you are no longer alone because you are no longer sticking out like a sore thumb with your strange, sovereign joy.

It becomes an addiction. It is very hard to see it as such because in there, mixed in with self-destructive self-sacrifice, there is real love, powerful love, pure love.

This energetic dynamic is similar to well-designed propaganda. Well-designed propaganda is not just a bunch of lies, it is a bunch of lies mixed in with obvious and meaningful truths—and it is those truths that pull people into the compelling forest of lies.

And of course, like in a children's tale, there are also proverbial bad witches, individuals with not-so-good intentions who take advantage of pure Soviet people's lack of awareness of their wicked ways, and who knowingly do things designed to turn innocent people into batteries, into energy ATMs.

Those individuals are like metaphorical spiritual germs poking holes in unstable protective membranes of the soul. The terrain is the broken, suffering, unaware state of good people’s minds and hearts.

It took me a while to figure all this out. It took me a long time to figure out that the Spirit believes in the ability of good people to protect themselves and to put their foot down. The Spirit knows where we come from, the Spirit knows we have power. The Spirit has our back, and breathes love into our souls, and waits for us to get off our knees and act. It is our job to pray for help and guidance and help each other melt the scary clouds of pain that the bad witches have invoked. Love without self-disrespect has the power to make the bad witches run and maybe even ponder love.

And me? Many years passed, I kept dancing in circles, one step forward, two steps back. I kept trying very sincerely but was failing at remembering how to take up space.

When 2020 came, "standing up to the COVID tyranny" was an obvious choice, not very difficult, even despite "breaking up" with my circle of artist friends.

It was not quite an act of taking up space through!

It was more like an act of calling a boot a boot. Calling a boot a boot is a necessary step—-but in terms of claiming what's mine, it is only the first baby step in the journey of knowing how to take up space.

And the Spirit tried to tell me. I was deaf and blind. I felt the pain of others so viscerally that, if I cared about them, it blinded me to my self-love.

It took dramatic events that I barely survived on the inside to wake me up.

And here is what I know now.

A two-directional energy dance

Feeling dejected is a bad deal on every side.

Cutting into yourself doesn't solve problems in the long run.

If you feel dejected as a result of either mismanaged pride or eating into yourself for too long, people who have strong love energetic connection to you start feeling dejected, too—and it's a two-way dance. The more one side feels dejected, the more other the other side feels dejected, and it's s bottomless well. Eventually the Spirit interferes and gives the people a time-off to sort things out on the inside.

In other words, you don't help the suffering by cutting off the pieces of your soul. You may plug some holes for the time being and bring some relief for the time being but it is not an effective healing way. 

Aaaand, the impetus to cut off pieces of your soul in order to feed others is actually an effect of trauma or witchcraft or both, not a heroic act, not a godly act, not what your soul actually wants you to do for the healing of the world.

You are not a sacrifice  

The topic of  sacrifice and “scapegoating” is a complex one. ²

First, let us briefly look at the treacherous historical background (for this, please check out the footnotes referring to the work by Awo Fá'Lokun Fatunmbi and Steven Newcomb, I don’t take any credit, I learned from the people who know a lot more than me!).

The energy dance around “scapegoating” and “offering sacrifice” has been deliberately manipulated  by the people who want to control the world. Many of us have been raised to believe that the so called “pagans” engaged in the so called “sacrifice,” that we are working against this dark legacy of “bad” human  nature, and that we need to squeeze our teeth and pray for forgiveness of our bad nature, etc.

Well, all this is as close to reality as the notion that vaccines save lives, or that we save grandmas by obediently staying at home. Meaning, it’s a fabrication, a fake story, a deliberate lie. The so called “pagans” did something entirely different and didn’t routinely engage in “sacrifice” the way we think they did.

Perhaps the people who want to control the world did engage in this type of sacrifice, and perhaps they do it to this day. But they are not “pagans,” they hide behind different masks but they are actually  the ones who deliberately slandered the “pagans” so that they, the controllers, can do any witchcraft they want, and there is no one to restore the love. That’s what they hoped for, like in a children’s tale about distorted mirrors. They hoped to bully, disappoint, confuse, and deceive, and so they built a very elaborate castle of lies.

But their castle of lies, elaborate as it is, brutal as it is, is still a house of cards when it comes to the Creator’s ability to protect love and mysteriously straighten things out in due time.

My feeling is that the due time will come when we give up the addiction to the system of domination, when we give up the addiction to functioning in a mode where we have to view ourselves as either better than everyone else or worse than everyone else, where we are either an executioner or a sacrifice. It is not a godly mode. It is a mode that feeds the vampires.  

In reality, you are not a sacrifice, I am not a sacrifice, and even your political opponent is not a sacrifice. This is not lofty words, this is reality, the only real reality that exists.

It is very improbable that God is sitting there and getting mad at you every time you dare to take up space. God created you. God created space. You are legitimately allocated your space for creativity, courage, love, and joy. It is yours. If you don’t take this up, proverbial vampires will.

It is also them who created the notion is that the only way to take up space is by raping others and creating pain. That is a total lie, too! Healing yourself and others is an act of taking up space in the world. Loving yourself and others is an act of taking up space in the world. Figuring out how to have good relationships is an act of taking up space in this world. Growing food is an act of taking up space in this world! Playing music is an act of taking up space in this world! Being fearless and growing is an act of taking up space in the world! Being happy and figuring out how to have a good life in a non-predatory way is a creative act and an act of taking up space! Etc.

Better ways to heal

How do you solve things? It's a mystery, I am still figuring it out.

I think it's by giving gratitude to the parts of the hurting person's soul and letting the alchemy of love do its thing. I think it's by connecting to invincible love, bringing love about with every inward and outward breath, and letting the universe take it home.

I don't know the answers. I am not perfect. But I am telling you, you may be an empath a thousand times, but taking care of others in this mode is a way of avoiding your soul, and feeling other people's pain too much is a drug, too. Strange how this works.

The vampiring machine is well-designed. The ones who want to eat other people's energy are not dummies, they know how to mix up real things and poisonous things.

It is time to wake up!

I think that the happier we are internally, the better we heal others.

The way I am feeling this, now is a perfect time to stop feeding energy thieves. Now is a perfect time to wake up.

---

A note to readers: If you are in the position to do so, I very much encourage you to become a paid subscriber or donate. I love you in any case, but it helps A LOT, and I am in a dire need to get more donations and paid subscribers while keeping my posts free. Thank you from my heart for your support!

Addendum

This super-squeeze mode is not just a way to make more things faster and cheaper. It is also an energetic mode that works for the proverbial vampires. It squeezes people so that they forget how to take up space necessary for their souls to stretch, and they also don’t have the time to think and feel things through at a natural pace. And they end up eating into themselves more readily, and the people who want to control the world then have an easier way to feast.

Super-Squeezed

Here are some stories I have written earlier about the Soviet Union, totalitarianism, etc.

Why Totalitarianism

The Return of the Soviet Cashier

Philosophy Hour: Russian Exceptionalism vs. American Exceptionalism

On the Soviet Man and the Groundhog Day

Are You Special?

https://tessafightsrobots.com/tessa-lena/wanted-talk-dating-r-kelly-but-talked-russian-culture

Footnotes

1. I recently learned from Awo Fá'Lokun Fatunmbi (whose historical knowledge is vast and a blessing) that even the word “vampire” is a deliberate lie. I still use it conventionally every now and then but wow. The English word comes from Slavic and possibly Turkic languages. According to Awo Fá'Lokun Fatunmbi, the Hungarian word “vampir” actually meant “medium,” i.e. a person who has the ability and the skills to communicate with the spirit world (an ability that historically has been used by people predominantly for good things). A medium is a very different energy from a scary parasite. But allegedly, the people who wanted to bully good people out of this kind of spiritual connection, created the vampire myth and a distorted image of mediums, and so today, when we use this word, we imagine horrible things. And again, it is not that predatory spiritual energies don’t exist, of course they do, but evidently, the word “vampire” is a misnomer. This is something to keep in mind. And as I was thinking about it, I realized that there is a related Russian word “upyr’” that means something similar to conventional “vampire” (a horrible, cruel, selfish, brutal person or a spiritual vampire).

2. I am tremendously grateful to Awo Fá'Lokun Fatunmbi and Steven Newcomb for their elder wisdom and work that is illuminating my understanding of what was distorted, and how