This story is about Soviet history, current reality, (not) walking in circles, and (not) repeating mistakes.
Some philosophy, which is important.
First of all, let me state the intention of this story. The intention is to interrupt the Groundhog Day. There is no need to walk in circles any longer, there is no need to repeat the same mistake again and again. We’ve suffered enough.
I believe that on a personal level, mistakes and failed experiments are a part of life, it’s a part of human condition, it’s just how it is. Every now and then, we go crazy and get carried away—but in the end, it’s about cleaning up our messes and remembering love.
There has been a lot of confusion! But I believe that life is not about suffering and not about being forever embarrassed over mistakes—or doubling down on our mistakes to save our face—it’s about being honest, figuring out who we are, expressing ourselves, and liberating ourselves from our old habits that are no longer working for us. And also being kind toward the newly awakened. After all, we try our best, and when we are sincere about renewal, love forgives. When we do go wrong, it’s good to come to peace with it, learn, open our hearts to renewal, right the wrongs, and be fully alive.
There is definite practical value in making mistakes. We forget our theoretical wisdoms very fast—but we remember what we’ve learned by doing things wrong and paying the price! We remember it well!
For example, I thank past mistake for having clarity about COVID fear-mongering early on. And on a philosophical note, I have my own weaknesses, and I always try to be wise but…. being human is hard. The best way I have found to deal with mistakes is to accept the fact that I did something wrong and try to fix it with total passion and love for the mystery of life and me as a part of that mystery of life. I think sincerity of intention goes a long way, and again, love forgives. Which is to say, it is much more interesting to take chances at renewal and healing than to be gloomy about the future based on the past!
History repeating itself
Speaking of the Groundhog Day and repeating mistakes though, the past two years have been nuts. As a Soviet expat, I look back, and I am scratching my head.
It’s like watching the very beginning of the movie whose ending I saw as kid, in the collapsing USSR.
Watching that movie makes me feel two opposite feelings at the same time (nuts, as I said)!
I am looking at the freshly indoctrinated people of today and seeing the generation of my grandparents (even though the freshly indoctrinated people of today are less tough, and they have not yet paid the full price). It makes my heart explode with a mix of resentment, frustration, and love. What I see is a massive potential for beauty and strength—and a reality of dogma and oppression, born from a misguided feeling of what’s “right.”
I can’t resent them too much because I have so much fondness of my grandparents’ generation, and I see them as near historical twins—and yet I know that their dogma breeds terrible pain for generations to come. I was the third generation in the USSR (give or take)—and it took me well into adulthood to start freeing myself from the generational gloom. What a dance! And perhaps, it makes sense, and all this knowledge will be useful to help the generations to come but… what a dance!
Snapping out of fear
A step back.
When this whole thing started two years ago, most of us went through a phase of being afraid. I snapped out of it in less than a month because, for one, I believe I got COVID early on—and it was so intense that it made all the fear go away. Great physical suffering awakened my love of life and my loyalty to joy. Another factor was that I was in an abusive relation before, and the messaging of the state in the context of COVID was near identical to the messaging of my abusive ex (“don’t trust your instincts,” “be afraid,” “you are a bad person if you think for yourself,” “you are crazy if you don’t do as you are told,” etc. etc.) So, as much as the propaganda was blasting with a deafening loudness, I was immune.
For some people, it took longer. After all, the propaganda was—and still is—top notch. After all, the authorities in Western countries employed very expensive consultants to create top quality fear!
Worse than propaganda, real people—somebody’s loved ones— were in all realness effectively murdered in hospitals—and their tragic passing was used to breed more high quality fear. That, by the way, is my biggest point of resentment toward the power holders. Propaganda is “normal,” they all do propaganda. But cold-blooded murder of own citizens? And yes, the murderous protocols were (are) enforced by the highest authorities, meaning various health alphabet agencies—while the doctors who treat COVID successfully were (are) demonized. That’s not right!
It’s a crime—and there is either going to be tribunals, or we’ll enter a long period of darkness. Which way will it go? It is being decided right now, by us. There are no saviors, it’s on us and our spiritual choices—and if we choose to shut our eyes and pretend there has been no murder (including of our loved ones), then the power holders will be tempted to surprise us with more high quality tyranny.
After all, the BlackRock investors are just warming up, and they really are desiring to connect us all to the Internet of Bodies (health and freedom be damned—and yes it’s really horrible for our health just on the physical level)—and treat us like an inanimate resource!
On a side note, the other day I re-read a few works by Lenin (I’ll send the article soon), and my jaw dropped at how easily his cold-blooded strategy from 1918 yields itself to today’s reform. I was also surprised to learn (or remember, since I had to study his works at school but then I immediately forgot) that he was quite a fan of Frederick Taylor and “scientific management,” just like our friends at the World Economic Forum!
What about the Soviet man?
That’s the thing… I wonder if we are living though a resurrection of the Soviet man in the West. This domination-driven psychological trajectory has happened so many times in history, in so many cultures, including in my own!
For example, when the original people of the Americas were subjected to a “Great Reset” of their time—once the dust of the battles settled—men seemingly reacted to the trauma of being dominated by the invader differently than women—which I think is also true for the Russian people (in their respective historical context), at least the way I see it.
I have been thinking about this for a very long time. I first started thinking about it when years ago, I wrote an article for Indian Country Today about the transformation of the Cherokee society as a result of the European invasion.
As I was reading about the Cherokee culture and what it went through, I couldn’t shake off the feeling that my own culture followed a similar trajectory in some way. My people saw a forced, violent conversion to Christianity (a very long time ago—and only now, I am starting to recognize the breadcrumbs of the stunningly beautiful ancient culture in children’s folk tales and some old Russian words), spent centuries under mostly abusive rulers— then, most recently, were abused by the newly power-hungry communist leaders who demanded homogenous thinking, intellectual submission, and general poverty—and as a result, at least by the time I was around (which really is the only time I can speak about from the person experience), men were kind of deflated. They were wonderful and sincere and ready to fight—but they had lost some intangible zest and become disinterested in social advancement. It was as if it was all too much humiliation for them—and since they couldn’t be in control like a proverbial man wants to be in control, they just didn’t want to deal with any of it at all.
As I look around at the state’s drive to oppress,, I wonder if today’s demand to comply with things that are irrational and cruel—the demand to internalize living under a boot as “acceptable”—if all this will result in a formation of a “Soviet man” in the West. I hope not!
On my end, I am sending my prayers for the interruption of the Groundhog Day, on the personal level and on the civilizational level. We’ve suffered enough.
My god Tessa, you have really bored in with precision (and fine word crafting) to identify the covid crowd's doppelgangers. And love that photo! LOL
Wonderful piece 👍 We need to welcome the newly awakened to strengthen numbers. Here in Poland the people often look west lately in increasing disbelief at the spectacle of self immolation. I tell them that's why I left fifteen years ago having seen it coming, though the past two years has really accelerated the madness and perhaps for the best as it will awaken even more.