You own nothing ... but wait, we have an offer for you! You want a sense of control, right? So how about you own a problem? It's a problem you own but that makes you an Owner of something, no?
"As a result of this sad situation, a lot of people grow up and get stuck in that sense of internalized shock of non-appreciation of their soul. It's an intensely unhappy feeling, and so people usually hide it, they tuck it away where they don't see it—and in order to cope, create or adopt all sorts of stories, explanations, talking points, and other energies that act like "artificial spirits" that make people feel … well, not really happy but at least “oriented,” "correct" and "sane." "
So very exactly what I feel but can't express. Internalized shock of non appreciation of one's soul.
Somebody wrote recently, who was it…? That if you grow up severely abused and neglected you don't even think you exist. Oh it was that incredible man who de-transitioned, his name was Sam.
Thank you, Celia. You are so beautiful, so stunningly talented and worthy, please know that you make the world more beautiful by existing. Tremendously big hugs!
Sounds like the shadow the rubber band effect. What we are unable to embrace about ourselves we try to run away like a rubber band it pulls us back to embrace the parts of our shadow we are ashamed of. Trauma giving birth to shame.
If only we could see that 'wanting' is often something that we think will make us happy, and 'blame' is the reason we are not happy - when in reality, happiness comes from the inside, not from anything outside us. For me, 'wanting' and 'blame' actually disempower me because they distract me and keep me from looking for my happiness from where it really comes.
That is a challenge for sure. I think all of us good people are tackling it every second of our lives, and even when we do, it's still good to be vigilant. :)
Tessa, as per your usual, you are incredibly correct. I had noticed, long ago, when confronted with the need for action, we take an action, and the result of our action is not always what we wished or expected. That makes one question, or one should, why are the results of my action not what I wanted. That would lead one to believe that some being or entity is controlling us. The answer is likely that our soul, our spirituality, is connected to the Creator. We should be using that connection instead of relying on where the vampires are pushing us.
You are like a one-man band, a one-person operation. I get that. I hope you don't burn out. Get outside, get some sunshine and get some contact with the physical world. Take care young lady.
Tessa, have you read Lloyd deMause's 'The Origins of War in Child Abuse'? I've only listened to a synopsis of it, but it seems to explain a lot of the dysfunction in the world today. Your article reminded me of that.
Thank you, Jack, and no, never heard of it! I think it goes beyond abuse, even though abuse is a particularly "potent" form of trying to break a child. Even just the lack of recognition (when a child is born into a rich family, for example, and wants to do something simple in life, but finds out that he or she is only loved and respected if he becomes a neurosurgeon or a fancy lawyer, even that tries to break people. I think that the loving arrangement of the universe matches challenges with people's ability to overcome them, so when something very traumatic happens during childhood, the chance is, to my senses at least, that the soul has chosen to try to solve the problem of how to heal after that, and how to heal others. But of course, actually doing it as a human being on Earth is usually more confusing than "planning the trip" so to speak. It is hard for us to know exactly what's what, but I am sure that the degree of violence and initial campaign to break a lot of people was on purpose by the people with not-so-good intentions. And now we are all figuring out how to swim out of this situation, and do it victoriously.
In my own life, I have found that whenever I feel passionately inclined to point fingers at others (which happens, of course), upon some careful examination I find something on the inside that I need to address to be a more pure version of myself. Of course, the past four years have been cuh-razy. But I also think that it has exposed what has always been there, our world is very very broken, and people need a lot of love to heal, on every side of the argument, and paradoxically, that is true for those on the "right" side of COVID and on the "wrong" side of it. I used to be very tormented about how many people went for total nonsense, but no longer. I look around, and see people trying their best, sometimes very strangely so but still, And since I can't change others, I focus on what I can change (usually me :))
I'll take that to heart. I definitely recognize that a lot of people are trying to make amends in their own ways, and we were all in different situations under different circumstances. I guess it's just hard not to feel *some* negativity toward people who wanted me to personally suffer for not succumbing when I was actually looking out for their own lives as well as mine :/
Hi... I seriously don't agree. I found that simple meditation, yoga and possibly nei kung help separate you from the mess. I grew up in an abusive household. An abuser & an enabler. I didn't do any of the aforementioned to help me when I was very young. But I resolved to be strong and make it through. The 'world' can go to hell. And maybe it's doing a good job doing so ? BUT... it's an individual choice how we will react to our life challenges. What will we choose ? Will we choose to stand strong regardless of challenges... or ?
Sorry you had to deal with a mess, and I am so glad you made it through! What don't you agree with? Of course it''s an individual choice, we seem to agree on that part. xo
Hi Tessa... it seemed to me that you were saying that young children were helpless against this evil assault. In my personal experience, I was able to survive against a deeply evil ongoing assault, with no help. And I imagine that many others manage to do so as well ? xo
I am so happy you were able to get through it, for real!!
I think that when people are subjected to something like that as children, their soul has chosen to deal with it and figure out how to heal from it (and then heal the world to the extent possible) before the person was born. So it's not that children get helpless forever... it just creates trauma and that trauma needs to be dealt with, and sometimes it takes years, and layers and layers of dealing with it, and sometimes people think they have dealt with it but they haven't done it in full and it comes out... the goal is always total healing though, I think.
I'm curious. Are not the practices you mentioned - meditation, yoga - ways to get centered and closer to your soul, God, creator - whatever term resonates - and turning problems over to the creator? By seeking ourselves via these practices, do we also not by default, seek higher level energetic assistance?
Not turning problems over to a creator. no. More deeply connecting with yourself. I believe that God is everything. Which means that as we are a part of everything, that we are a part of the total God expression. So when we more deeply connect with ourselves... we more deeply connect with God.
I don't know how exactly you do what works for you, and I don't have to The most important thing is that it works for you! From what you are saying, it is not dissimilar to what you are saying, every one of us has a unique way to connect to the Creator (and our soul, that is a part of the Creator). Hugs to you, whether we agree on the methodology or not!
.......eating a pile of candy and spicing it with glyphosate. That seems to be what I am dealing with quite literally. A pile of cookie bars and 600 feet of weedy ditches that I'm burning with diesel fuel and yes, first killing and drying out with glyphosphate. Sorry, but it's like war with the weeds around here, I've just reached a point of desperation and anger. I think glyphosphate is tolerable ( I tell myself that), if it's not sprayed on gmo food crops and sprayed directly on stored wheat ( as an antidesicant, which my son has told me is being done). Anyway EVERYBODY uses Round Up around here. Sold in five gallon jugs at the general store. I have to get the ditches cleared. Hurricane season is coming, and they're saying this year could be a doozy. Should roto jet the drainage pipes too. Solution: find a way to mechanically and physically do this that's not too taxing, either that and/or hire a " young buck" ( slave term, which I'm told I shouldn't use anymore but still do). Anyway, sorry for this off topic response, feeling uncentered right now. Forgive me, I usually try to bring the plus. Small taste of rural life I guess. Should I hit the " post" button? Guess so.
The "evil" cookies? :-) I am trying to think out loud here, I know nothing about clearing the weeds on a massive scale, when I was a kid we did it by hand but it was not on a massive scale. I suspect finding other options besides glyphosate would be better for you in the long term (lots of information about its harms, it destroys beneficial gut bacteria as one of the things it does, and beneficial gut bacteria are very protective in terms of immunity etc.) .... but I also know that giving advice from the comforts of my keyboard while living in the city has limited value if you have a problem to solve. I will think about this, and if I come up with any useful idea, I will let you know. And hugs to you and your wife, always!!!
Oh and it's being used as a desiccant not an anti-desiccant. Once again off- topic. Sorry! As far as the Triple Magic Cookie bars go, I thought they were gone after Church. But no! Still two containers full of them. Joanne froze them and will bring them to our grand daughter's birthday party where there will be lots of people. The problem is that they are just too good. She won a cash reward of over two hundred dollars in a baking contest with them a few years ago.
"As a result of this sad situation, a lot of people grow up and get stuck in that sense of internalized shock of non-appreciation of their soul. It's an intensely unhappy feeling, and so people usually hide it, they tuck it away where they don't see it—and in order to cope, create or adopt all sorts of stories, explanations, talking points, and other energies that act like "artificial spirits" that make people feel … well, not really happy but at least “oriented,” "correct" and "sane." "
So very exactly what I feel but can't express. Internalized shock of non appreciation of one's soul.
Somebody wrote recently, who was it…? That if you grow up severely abused and neglected you don't even think you exist. Oh it was that incredible man who de-transitioned, his name was Sam.
Another wonderful piece. Thank you.
Thank you, Celia. You are so beautiful, so stunningly talented and worthy, please know that you make the world more beautiful by existing. Tremendously big hugs!
Sounds like the shadow the rubber band effect. What we are unable to embrace about ourselves we try to run away like a rubber band it pulls us back to embrace the parts of our shadow we are ashamed of. Trauma giving birth to shame.
If only we could see that 'wanting' is often something that we think will make us happy, and 'blame' is the reason we are not happy - when in reality, happiness comes from the inside, not from anything outside us. For me, 'wanting' and 'blame' actually disempower me because they distract me and keep me from looking for my happiness from where it really comes.
Beautiful once again Tessa
Thank you, Tamara!! xo
🙏🙏
the nightmares are real
oh so real
and the love is somehow more so
i heard god cares about what's in you heart
a tiny little walled garden
where snakes hide
btw I love your texts, they speak from places that may be uncomfortable, but with hope...
Thank you, Aion!! xoxo
Thank You, Tessa.
You articulate this exquisitely well.
Thank you, John!!
Thank you Lena!
I hope our spiritual renaissance is starting before it is too late!
"All this perpetual martyrdom is a dirty trap by the vampires. It is the vampires who want people to be proud owners of their problems."
good point. victim identity is based in pain and as long as we feed the vampires with that, we keep them alive.
busting out of that is the challenge. thanks for the inspiration Tessa
That is a challenge for sure. I think all of us good people are tackling it every second of our lives, and even when we do, it's still good to be vigilant. :)
Tessa, as per your usual, you are incredibly correct. I had noticed, long ago, when confronted with the need for action, we take an action, and the result of our action is not always what we wished or expected. That makes one question, or one should, why are the results of my action not what I wanted. That would lead one to believe that some being or entity is controlling us. The answer is likely that our soul, our spirituality, is connected to the Creator. We should be using that connection instead of relying on where the vampires are pushing us.
Thank you, FreedomFighter! I agree
Great outside the box conceptualization! Thanks!
Thank you!! xo
This is a real good book on the masculine and feminine vampire archetypes and how we can redeem ourselves...
Unholy Hungers: Encountering the Psychic Vampire in Ourselves & Others
https://library.lol/main/4DBAE19536322C32B096831884B0A91A
She cites this story as an example of redemption by respect of the other's choice.
https://storiestogrowby.org/story/sir-gawain-the-lady-ragnell/
King Arthur and the Riddle: The Wedding of Sir Gawain and the Lady Ragnell
Thank you, Rob!
You are like a one-man band, a one-person operation. I get that. I hope you don't burn out. Get outside, get some sunshine and get some contact with the physical world. Take care young lady.
Thank you, Paul
Tessa, have you read Lloyd deMause's 'The Origins of War in Child Abuse'? I've only listened to a synopsis of it, but it seems to explain a lot of the dysfunction in the world today. Your article reminded me of that.
Thank you, Jack, and no, never heard of it! I think it goes beyond abuse, even though abuse is a particularly "potent" form of trying to break a child. Even just the lack of recognition (when a child is born into a rich family, for example, and wants to do something simple in life, but finds out that he or she is only loved and respected if he becomes a neurosurgeon or a fancy lawyer, even that tries to break people. I think that the loving arrangement of the universe matches challenges with people's ability to overcome them, so when something very traumatic happens during childhood, the chance is, to my senses at least, that the soul has chosen to try to solve the problem of how to heal after that, and how to heal others. But of course, actually doing it as a human being on Earth is usually more confusing than "planning the trip" so to speak. It is hard for us to know exactly what's what, but I am sure that the degree of violence and initial campaign to break a lot of people was on purpose by the people with not-so-good intentions. And now we are all figuring out how to swim out of this situation, and do it victoriously.
I just want some of the sheeple around me to OWN up to their mistakes (and insane emotional reactions), but I'm not holding my breath...
In my own life, I have found that whenever I feel passionately inclined to point fingers at others (which happens, of course), upon some careful examination I find something on the inside that I need to address to be a more pure version of myself. Of course, the past four years have been cuh-razy. But I also think that it has exposed what has always been there, our world is very very broken, and people need a lot of love to heal, on every side of the argument, and paradoxically, that is true for those on the "right" side of COVID and on the "wrong" side of it. I used to be very tormented about how many people went for total nonsense, but no longer. I look around, and see people trying their best, sometimes very strangely so but still, And since I can't change others, I focus on what I can change (usually me :))
I'll take that to heart. I definitely recognize that a lot of people are trying to make amends in their own ways, and we were all in different situations under different circumstances. I guess it's just hard not to feel *some* negativity toward people who wanted me to personally suffer for not succumbing when I was actually looking out for their own lives as well as mine :/
Hi... I seriously don't agree. I found that simple meditation, yoga and possibly nei kung help separate you from the mess. I grew up in an abusive household. An abuser & an enabler. I didn't do any of the aforementioned to help me when I was very young. But I resolved to be strong and make it through. The 'world' can go to hell. And maybe it's doing a good job doing so ? BUT... it's an individual choice how we will react to our life challenges. What will we choose ? Will we choose to stand strong regardless of challenges... or ?
Sorry you had to deal with a mess, and I am so glad you made it through! What don't you agree with? Of course it''s an individual choice, we seem to agree on that part. xo
Hi Tessa... it seemed to me that you were saying that young children were helpless against this evil assault. In my personal experience, I was able to survive against a deeply evil ongoing assault, with no help. And I imagine that many others manage to do so as well ? xo
I am so happy you were able to get through it, for real!!
I think that when people are subjected to something like that as children, their soul has chosen to deal with it and figure out how to heal from it (and then heal the world to the extent possible) before the person was born. So it's not that children get helpless forever... it just creates trauma and that trauma needs to be dealt with, and sometimes it takes years, and layers and layers of dealing with it, and sometimes people think they have dealt with it but they haven't done it in full and it comes out... the goal is always total healing though, I think.
And good for you for facing it and overcoming it!
Thanks...
I'm curious. Are not the practices you mentioned - meditation, yoga - ways to get centered and closer to your soul, God, creator - whatever term resonates - and turning problems over to the creator? By seeking ourselves via these practices, do we also not by default, seek higher level energetic assistance?
Not turning problems over to a creator. no. More deeply connecting with yourself. I believe that God is everything. Which means that as we are a part of everything, that we are a part of the total God expression. So when we more deeply connect with ourselves... we more deeply connect with God.
I don't know how exactly you do what works for you, and I don't have to The most important thing is that it works for you! From what you are saying, it is not dissimilar to what you are saying, every one of us has a unique way to connect to the Creator (and our soul, that is a part of the Creator). Hugs to you, whether we agree on the methodology or not!
Hugs back !
💜
.......eating a pile of candy and spicing it with glyphosate. That seems to be what I am dealing with quite literally. A pile of cookie bars and 600 feet of weedy ditches that I'm burning with diesel fuel and yes, first killing and drying out with glyphosphate. Sorry, but it's like war with the weeds around here, I've just reached a point of desperation and anger. I think glyphosphate is tolerable ( I tell myself that), if it's not sprayed on gmo food crops and sprayed directly on stored wheat ( as an antidesicant, which my son has told me is being done). Anyway EVERYBODY uses Round Up around here. Sold in five gallon jugs at the general store. I have to get the ditches cleared. Hurricane season is coming, and they're saying this year could be a doozy. Should roto jet the drainage pipes too. Solution: find a way to mechanically and physically do this that's not too taxing, either that and/or hire a " young buck" ( slave term, which I'm told I shouldn't use anymore but still do). Anyway, sorry for this off topic response, feeling uncentered right now. Forgive me, I usually try to bring the plus. Small taste of rural life I guess. Should I hit the " post" button? Guess so.
The "evil" cookies? :-) I am trying to think out loud here, I know nothing about clearing the weeds on a massive scale, when I was a kid we did it by hand but it was not on a massive scale. I suspect finding other options besides glyphosate would be better for you in the long term (lots of information about its harms, it destroys beneficial gut bacteria as one of the things it does, and beneficial gut bacteria are very protective in terms of immunity etc.) .... but I also know that giving advice from the comforts of my keyboard while living in the city has limited value if you have a problem to solve. I will think about this, and if I come up with any useful idea, I will let you know. And hugs to you and your wife, always!!!
Son sent me this on Glyphosate. Very informative on many topics. I really appreciate your Philosophy club.
https://youtu.be/-dwWQZkJ5r8?si=i8e53uKJFJnRBTK2
Oh and it's being used as a desiccant not an anti-desiccant. Once again off- topic. Sorry! As far as the Triple Magic Cookie bars go, I thought they were gone after Church. But no! Still two containers full of them. Joanne froze them and will bring them to our grand daughter's birthday party where there will be lots of people. The problem is that they are just too good. She won a cash reward of over two hundred dollars in a baking contest with them a few years ago.