"You don't need a written code of conduct. Just be a real, living, breathing person who is trying to help another person get through a potentially unpleasant experience."
Wow. That brought a tear to my eye. I'm only a few years behind that nurse and, although I am not a health care provider, I can most certainly remember when we were human patients first and not just a commodity. I can also remember when we were "allowed" to compliment one another without being scared of "offending" someone. I remember when we could say, Merry Christmas, Happy Easter and any other greeting and it was taken as it was meant: Care for the other person. I remember when holding a door open was a kindness, but now I often have people go through the opposite door. Trying to be kind and nice and *human* has all been turned on it's head *for no logical reason*. I'm not sure how we can turn this back around but I would recommend: Turn off the TV news and the pop culture crap that seems to revel in people's misery and almost seems to promote treating each other like "nobodies". Thanks for posting this Tessa. It was well worth the read. :)
Tessa, As a long-time practitioner, every word Andy said is spot on. Even though it usually makes me run late (sorry patients to follow, but your time will come) I try and have a fully engaged conversation with every patient. I am a hematologist and most of my patients are not in very good places -- this is an impossibly stressful situation for them. I always explain that they are their own science experiment and that we will do the very best we can, but it often is not easy and it almost never is fun. People understand that...they just want some indication that I do, too. And I do.
That was a good choice to reprint Andy's piece. Thank you.
Doctors need our help too - they're the ones doing surgery in blue light, which spikes stress hormones and leads to poor decisions and cancer via circadian misalignment over time:
Thank you Roman for supplying your link! This is really great information.
I've commented there and included the suggestion that people use the ethernet cable instead of wifi and if WiFi is de rigeur, that they at least turn of the 5G and use the 4G. By default both frequencies have been turned on in all the modems I've looked at - 5 different ones.
Agreed. Another tactic if computer challenged as I am most times - call your internet provider and request they disable 4 and 5G on your modem remotely. I did this and it took all of less than a minute and done. Both G lights went dark. No difference in streaming times, etc.
The same holds true for disabling 5G on phones and switching both phones and computers to airplane mode so the pinging of microwaves is only occurring when in use. Airplane mode does not effect any function of my devices.
Thank you, Tessa. This touches on one of my (admittedly many) pet peeves: Whenever there is a ‘problem’, the response always seems to be to create a new law or rule; instead of addressing the root cause of said ‘problem’.
Sorry, but as someone who was raped and molested by my male parent, yeah, maybe that guy did not find that comment inappropriate, but I sure would. Elderly men are some of the largest percentage of demographics now cheating on their spouses. I don’t find it appropriate or innocent to say that to a professional woman. Yuck, no thank you. But that is just me. It is also a subtle way to devalue and demean a woman who at that moment has some power differentiation over the man. And telling oneself what a great guy a person is because he does x, y, and z, does not cancel that . Nope, not buying it. That does not mean setting rules against such conduct is the answer either. Men repenting would be a great start, and women , too.
Lynda, I am so sorry it happened to you! This is awful and probably so hard to overcome! I pray that you find peace. I happen to have been raped by someone at one point, too. I was able to heal after all this but it was not easy. Hugs to you, sister!
As far as being complimented, I think we human beings are generally equipped with being able to read the tone, the body language, and things like that. I come from the Russian culture, a culture that is raw and emotional. On my end, I don't at all mind compliments and even feel honored. When somebody is trying to claim ownership subtly through saying things it's another matter, but most men (and occasional women) are just honoring, and I thank them!!
PS. Please forgive my autocorrect, I fixed the typo right away!
I thought the same thing. I would have been uncomfortable in a professional setting if a man felt he needed to comment on my appearance. I, for one, am sick of being valued for how I look or don't look. It has nothing to do with anything.
I got a bit misty reading Andy’s comment. I feel we are about to lose alot of “people first” approach as this cohort leaves the workforce. I’m not far behind Andy and while I have witnessed good technical skills coming into the workforce, it is disturbing to see it often coupled with extreme fragility. Acute awareness and sensitivity to offense. Frankly, the things that heal people are both technical and a connection to each others humanity. Hand on my heart I do not think things have improved in society with this last wave of wokeism.
Wow. That brought a tear to my eye. I'm only a few years behind that nurse and, although I am not a health care provider, I can most certainly remember when we were human patients first and not just a commodity. I can also remember when we were "allowed" to compliment one another without being scared of "offending" someone. I remember when we could say, Merry Christmas, Happy Easter and any other greeting and it was taken as it was meant: Care for the other person. I remember when holding a door open was a kindness, but now I often have people go through the opposite door. Trying to be kind and nice and *human* has all been turned on it's head *for no logical reason*. I'm not sure how we can turn this back around but I would recommend: Turn off the TV news and the pop culture crap that seems to revel in people's misery and almost seems to promote treating each other like "nobodies". Thanks for posting this Tessa. It was well worth the read. :)
Thank you so much, Rob! And yes, Andy said it perfectly.
Tessa, As a long-time practitioner, every word Andy said is spot on. Even though it usually makes me run late (sorry patients to follow, but your time will come) I try and have a fully engaged conversation with every patient. I am a hematologist and most of my patients are not in very good places -- this is an impossibly stressful situation for them. I always explain that they are their own science experiment and that we will do the very best we can, but it often is not easy and it almost never is fun. People understand that...they just want some indication that I do, too. And I do.
That was a good choice to reprint Andy's piece. Thank you.
Thank you, Dr. K, and God bless you!
Doctors need our help too - they're the ones doing surgery in blue light, which spikes stress hormones and leads to poor decisions and cancer via circadian misalignment over time:
https://romanshapoval.substack.com/p/the-1-emf-youve-forgotten-about
I agree and thanking people when they do a great job, saving lives is not easy and there are some great doctors out there!
Thank you Roman for supplying your link! This is really great information.
I've commented there and included the suggestion that people use the ethernet cable instead of wifi and if WiFi is de rigeur, that they at least turn of the 5G and use the 4G. By default both frequencies have been turned on in all the modems I've looked at - 5 different ones.
Agreed. Another tactic if computer challenged as I am most times - call your internet provider and request they disable 4 and 5G on your modem remotely. I did this and it took all of less than a minute and done. Both G lights went dark. No difference in streaming times, etc.
The same holds true for disabling 5G on phones and switching both phones and computers to airplane mode so the pinging of microwaves is only occurring when in use. Airplane mode does not effect any function of my devices.
yes!
He’s the one we wish was assigned to us for every procedure
Absolutely!
Thank you, Tessa. This touches on one of my (admittedly many) pet peeves: Whenever there is a ‘problem’, the response always seems to be to create a new law or rule; instead of addressing the root cause of said ‘problem’.
What a beautiful statement.
Yes, it is!!
Made me cry. Why is that so rare to behave as a human being? What good does it do anyone to be a miserable mean person?
I know!! The trend to make everything mechanical just cannot end well. Unless we refuse to become mechanical!
Ah, a rules based order! Nothing good would flow without empathy.
I totally agree, John!
Beautifully said!
Well said.
Beautiful!
Great reader's response. Thanks, Andy, for the letter and for all your years of service!
Sorry, but as someone who was raped and molested by my male parent, yeah, maybe that guy did not find that comment inappropriate, but I sure would. Elderly men are some of the largest percentage of demographics now cheating on their spouses. I don’t find it appropriate or innocent to say that to a professional woman. Yuck, no thank you. But that is just me. It is also a subtle way to devalue and demean a woman who at that moment has some power differentiation over the man. And telling oneself what a great guy a person is because he does x, y, and z, does not cancel that . Nope, not buying it. That does not mean setting rules against such conduct is the answer either. Men repenting would be a great start, and women , too.
Lynda, I am so sorry it happened to you! This is awful and probably so hard to overcome! I pray that you find peace. I happen to have been raped by someone at one point, too. I was able to heal after all this but it was not easy. Hugs to you, sister!
As far as being complimented, I think we human beings are generally equipped with being able to read the tone, the body language, and things like that. I come from the Russian culture, a culture that is raw and emotional. On my end, I don't at all mind compliments and even feel honored. When somebody is trying to claim ownership subtly through saying things it's another matter, but most men (and occasional women) are just honoring, and I thank them!!
PS. Please forgive my autocorrect, I fixed the typo right away!
I thought the same thing. I would have been uncomfortable in a professional setting if a man felt he needed to comment on my appearance. I, for one, am sick of being valued for how I look or don't look. It has nothing to do with anything.
"Thank you for helping me." That's a compliment.
I agree!
I got a bit misty reading Andy’s comment. I feel we are about to lose alot of “people first” approach as this cohort leaves the workforce. I’m not far behind Andy and while I have witnessed good technical skills coming into the workforce, it is disturbing to see it often coupled with extreme fragility. Acute awareness and sensitivity to offense. Frankly, the things that heal people are both technical and a connection to each others humanity. Hand on my heart I do not think things have improved in society with this last wave of wokeism.