Learning to walk for the first time
Raw
As I am writing this, I am half-dancing, half-crying.
You know how my message is always about love, finding love, remembering love, doing everything from love, creating healing from a place of love, and “fighting the great reset” from love?
There is a practical reason for that. The aspiring masters, aka the great resetters, the people whose intention is to stuff their pockets with stolen creative energy, and whose ambition is to control the entire world, use trauma, anger, a sense of powerlessness, and a sense of unworthiness to keep the rest of the people trapped, spiritually paralyzed, and under control.
They know very well what they are doing. They understand energy very well. It’s an intentional campaign by which they want to arrest the power of our souls. Love is what unlocks the cage and sets our souls free. Without love, we walk in circles, our actions don’t quite reach the target, however “correct” our ideas might be. Love makes our efforts potent. Love gets us support from the spirt world. But it needs to be real love, felt love, dignified love, not theory-driven door mat love.
And I … I feel love, I feel so much love, I feel indescribable love for everything that is. It is authentic love, it is real love.
What I write usually comes from the Spirit. I merely write down what I learn, what comes to me through life experiences or feeling. So it is for real.
But there was one kind of love I was completely unfamiliar with, and only now that I start tasting it, I am, frankly, in total shock. I am writing this for the sake of honesty and also if I find myself in this position, maybe some of you also find yourself in this position, and you are not alone.
I didn’t know how to love myself for real.
Something broke before I even remember. I was shown a world where good people hurt. It went back centuries. I only saw what I saw, until it became impossible to carry on without loving myself.
I lived my life, I felt the love for everything and everyone, it was real, I tried to be useful, and brave, and healing, tried to do what’s right. I wasn’t ineffective, I’ve managed to do a few things right. (And I am grateful to you from my heart for telling me that my work has helped you through the past four years, it makes my soul soar.)
But my life felt hard. For some reason, it delivered lots of hardship, and I didn’t understand. I was offering my gifts from the heart, so sincerely, so for real, and in response, a lot of people tried to hurt me. I did good things for people, uniquely good things, protective things, and they would respond by betraying me, and I was like, honestly, why is that?
And now I know why.
There were parts of me that I didn’t love.
Throughout my life, I went through many tough situations, and for some reason, they made me stronger but I was resisting the call to love myself.
And today, I find myself in the position of a baby who has been shocked and who doesn’t know how to walk and learns how to walk for the first time.
People around me mourn the great reset, and I am like, all this great reset stuff has been easy comparing to the rest of the things I was dealing with. I was so bombarded with things to solve that I could barely breathe.
And now I know why.
And I feel real love.
I encountered something healing. I encountered an incredible Soul, Oba Olowogbofalue Ifasade Olosunde, and she touched my Soul with such love that I started remembering how to love myself. It was preceded by months of praying to know how to love myself.
I cried and cried and cried. For myself, for all the times I didn’t treat myself right, for the things I did wrong, and that I didn’t know. I did so many things awkwardly because I was broken before I started to learn. I suppose, it was needed to understand how to heal a trauma so vast that it took me so many years to even see.
https://fb.watch/t5CzOODlFn/ (same thing as the Instagram video above but on facebook if you can’t access Instagram)
https://fb.watch/t5CuN77i6Z/ (part 2)
In her love, I recognized my love. In her words, I recognized my words. Infinite soul tenderness has infinite power. Tenderness is valid. There is no need to judge each other. It is impossible to live one’s life without stumbling. When we stumble, it is love and kindness that heal all.
I'm so happy for you. Truly, I know exactly the feeling; it's like for the first time you see yourself, all of who you are, and you can't help but cry tears of joy, but also relief. You feel seen, and being the person who sees yourself is beautiful. That moment for me was when life actually started being worth it. I went from going through life, to living life :)
May that self-love reign strong and true for the remainder of your days, Tessa. <3
Thank you for publishing this. I think it will be helpful to many. We are here precisely for the lessons this playground has to offer. It is easy to love when you suffer no negative consequences for doing so. It is much harder to love you are attacked and harmed. It is only when you become aware of the big picture that the value of this becomes apparent. When you are secure within infinity it all starts to make sense, no?