These expressions give a voice to deep undercurrents that flow in the stream of my consciousness. Thank you for serving as a mirror in this way. <3 Perceiving a wound is the first step in healing. May the scars of the heart serve as maps for the soul.
My God What a Blessing Covid-19 Has Been. We know the True Giants of Science.
A must read letter from Canada acknowledging those giants who stood up against industry captured health authorities, governments, pharma and a corrupt media to expose the truth at great personal and professional risk! Brian Peckford is a former Canadian Premier (Newfoundland-Labrador) legally challenging the vaccine mandates in the new communist dictatorship of Canadastan...
Human beings will always fail us eventually. We have to be careful not to allow those failures to make us become jaded to the entire human race. That can be very difficult. We have to remember that we, also, have failed someone, disappointed someone, or hurt someone deeply. I remember someone saying to me, "you can only disappoint someone who cares about you". We have to remember the little "good things" we have experienced from our fellow humans. And we have to remember that until we find happiness inside of ourselves, we'll never attain it from someone else.
Whatever spirit that flows through you, it calls on me too. I had ambition to be a musician like you, and it was all I wanted but I failed at it until one day I met my true love, a beautiful and intelligent soul made in Omsk. My life changed in a whirlwind, she showed me beauty and love. The synchronicity that allowed me to meet her made me to start believing in God. The joy I felt was incredible. I've always had something in me untapped, the beautiful that she brings out in me and makes me realize what I always truly wanted was freedom and love. When I broke my finger in a machine, having the knuckle pop out, and possibly thought I couldnt play guitar again, which was my favorite thing to do in the world, I was happy and thankful because I felt like God is in charge and that my true purpose was to love and take care of her. Before I met her I was always aimless, cynical. She showed me things.The walks we would have, drawing squirrels, messaging each other aesthetic photos of the world around us. She got me to try art again, to read poetry, to see the beauty in the world. We didn't have a courting process, just pure honesty sharing everything about ourselves from day one, and accepting each other. But, like other things in my life, it comes crashing down. She lives in Moscow, and I'm in USA. Nobody around me understands our relationship, saying offensive things like to find another girl, or the men see women as replaceable sex objects and nothing else. I feel so isolated, and my weakness comes from taking on their cynical perspectives which confuse me. Ad then I feel resentful towards everyone around me because of it. (I enjoyed your poem I just read about forgiveness). When she stopped coming to New York because of her job, I met her in Estonia. We danced wildly seeing Gogol Bordello our favorite band. Then she could not renew her visa because of politics. So I went to Russia and had the time of my life. In Suzdal I saw the real soul of Russia. I pushed myself through the hellish баня, the slaps on my back felt like fire and I pushed myself until I passed out. I made it like a symbol of my undying resolve to be with her. And when I jumped in the cold pond around midnight, I came out and from the high caused by the extreme heat and extreme cold, the expanse of the Russian plains looked so beautiful, and I felt so good. Back in Moscow, I thought, sitting there with her family on New Year's Eve 2020, this will be the best year of my life, all the crappiness I went through has a reason: I will marry her. Then the 'thing' happened, and I hadn't seen her for 2 years until we met again in Cyprus. 2022 comes, I feel positive again that finally we will be together. The other 'thing' I was worried about finally happened. I've been crushed, angry, confused. I don't know what I will do but have no other purpose in life than to be with her. I don't know how I'll do it, but I have the calling of Love. Nobody seems to understand what she means to me, and how rare of a woman she is. She's like my lover, my mother, father, teacher, colleague. She is brave, fun, wild, mature, hard working, loving, intelligent. She's incredible. Maybe even too good for me, but the fact that she loves me must mean I am.
You should in no way regard this comment as dismissive as I fully understand the feelings you're talking about. I will say however that special and distinct loving relationships contain a seed ego because the focus of Love is not universal. For a deeper analysis of this dynamic u-tube Kenneth Wapnick on special relationships. God bless you
I was working through some things the other day, writing it out – though not with the eloquence that you have. 😁In the midst of the thoughts and words this one phrase kept rolling through my mind: love is life, and life is love. Blessings Tessa.
Years ago, at the start of the first Gulf War, I attended talk given to a small group of friends by native American elder Howard Badhand. He spoke about the impending darkness, and his advice was to not resist or fight the darkness directly, because he said that would divert our energy and put our focus in the wrong place. He said "Darkness will have its day. Our job is to be keepers of the Light through this time, to remember to sing, to dance, and to play with the children, so that when this is over there will still be those who remember and who have held the Light." (Paraphrased from memory.) Thank you Tessa for being a singing, dancing, playing (and like all of us, I suspect) sometimes crying, carrier of Light and Love.
I just signed up with my email address, send me yours and I'll send you a poem from my latest book Let's Burn the Flags of All Nations...the poem's called Here Comes Kali Yuga
Hopefully, these words from a half-century ago won't be emblematic to our current struggle.
“It seems like a lifetime, or at least a Main Era — the kind of peak that never comes again. San Francisco in the middle sixties was a very special time and place to be a part of. Maybe it meant something. Maybe not, in the long run... but no explanation, no mix of words or music or memories can touch that sense of knowing that you were there and alive in that corner of time and the world. Whatever it meant...
There was madness in any direction, at any hour. You could strike sparks anywhere. There was a fantastic universal sense that whatever we were doing was right, that we were winning...
And that, I think, was the handle — that sense of inevitable victory over the forces of Old and Evil. Not in any mean or military sense; we didn't need that. Our energy would simply PREVAIL. There was no point in fighting — on our side or theirs. We had all the momentum; we were riding the crest of a high and beautiful wave...
So now, less than five years later, you can go up on a steep hill in Las Vegas and look West, and with the right kind of eyes you can almost see the high water mark — that place where the wave finally broke, and rolled back.”
(Hmmm......somehow missed these little gems when they happened.)
Regarding "the wound" ~ as paraded by parents, danced with (or not) as adult children, I have personally dealt with this for most of my adult life and continue to do so.
For those aware of "the wound", being at least somewhat conscious of it inside them-- avoidance, denial, numbing it out with substances, distractions, prayer, meditation, persistent declarations/personal affirmations of wellness, etc. all of this is "dancing with our wound" and none of it works. Without deeper reflection and willingness to feel painful things, one is doomed to "dance this mess around" in perpetuity.
"The Wound" is, in essence, a traumatized child. One may see now the absurdity of dancing with this delicate creature rather than gently lifting it up into ones' arms.
What actually works is, of course, very obvious but difficult as hell to actually do: Attend to the wound with fearless love and caring.
This means doing what you most likely do not want to do: Acknowledge it. Be wounded. Feel the debilitating pain of it. See the horror of it. Smell the stink of it. Soak up the bloody goo dripping from it, toss the rags and then do it again and again and again until it starts to close up. I guarantee you, it will.
Like any other injury we suffer as humans, our natural bodily processes are always at work trying to fix emotional wounds but cannot due to our hearts' (feeling) attention remaining disconnected and distracted being "the survivor" that is not you, the socially-conditioned fake person you have agreed to be, who tries to tell you this is all nonsense and the "acceptable, likable phony" you think you are is, in fact, who you really are. This means one must "destroy the survivor" in order to attend the wound. This is done by recognizing the social conditioning within you, the hardened, callous "strong person", or perhaps the shallow, "happy-go-lucky, don't-give-a-shit" type who is content to joke about it all & feel nothing real of depth & substance.
On this path, one does not hate or fight "the survivor within" so much as notice them and say: "Okay, this is not me. I don't really know who I am yet, but I'm listening now & I will find out."
That's really all it takes. Time is on your side. Yes, a scar will always remain. The scar tissue will not have the nerve structure (ability to feel) it once did and you will never be "whole again" as you were before the injury or as you might be now had it never happened. But you will have recovered enough power within to discover and be your authentic, unique self. No longer will you be a typical, programmed idiot in service to that which keeps humans in miserable bondage. Never again will your unexamined past blind-side you, work against you & destroy your relationships leaving you scratching your head wondering what the hell happened.
Okay then. Everyone is wounded. Only the children of perfect humans are not. Of course, there are none of these. Parents "parade" their wounds and install them in their children because they can't help it. Emotional wounds within that have not been addressed and attended to leave us utterly incapable of loving and caring for the deeper emotional needs of a child. We may be able to feed & clothe them, to attend to their physical needs well enough to bring them into adulthood, but we cannot give to our child a quality of love we never knew & experienced for ourselves.
We just grow up stuck with our pain ~ either a crippling ton of it or, if we are lucky, a lesser amount that allows us to manage well enough to find and maintain satisfying relationships throughout our lives.
Here, I speak to those (like me) who have found themselves grappling with crippling tons of pain. The wound is where the deepest, most real part of your heart is. If you are feeling lonely, forgotten, unloved, depressed, self-loathing, suicidal, that's it-- that's the door. Don't turn and run. Open it. Strap on all the love & courage you can muster and enter the darkness. As you go inside, remember it's all just feelings and feelings pass. They may hurt like hell, but they won't kill you. Be there as long as you can. Leave if you have to, but promise to come back again and keep your promise. When you can, enter again. Listen for the cries. Find the hurt kid. Listen to what it needs from you and then deliver it.
Attending the wound brings real compassion for ourselves & others and restores knowledge of our true beauty, its' inescapable fragility. Emotional trauma has damaged our natural ability to emotionally feel reality as well as perceive it intellectually. We need the whole enchilada don't we? We need to experience every single day our natural, connected state of blissful harmony with all that is, the way a child so easily does.
By our feelings we are torn. By our feelings are we mended.
Just keep working towards the better :-)
It cures the blues and you meet other people doing the same.
These expressions give a voice to deep undercurrents that flow in the stream of my consciousness. Thank you for serving as a mirror in this way. <3 Perceiving a wound is the first step in healing. May the scars of the heart serve as maps for the soul.
My God What a Blessing Covid-19 Has Been. We know the True Giants of Science.
A must read letter from Canada acknowledging those giants who stood up against industry captured health authorities, governments, pharma and a corrupt media to expose the truth at great personal and professional risk! Brian Peckford is a former Canadian Premier (Newfoundland-Labrador) legally challenging the vaccine mandates in the new communist dictatorship of Canadastan...
https://peckford42.wordpress.com/2022/03/05/my-god-what-a-blessing-covid-19-has-been-now-we-know-the-true-giants-of-science/
A huge thank you to our heros and many more not mentioned in this letter!
Oh I love her work!! I own two of her books actually. Have you read The Molecules of Emotion?
Human beings will always fail us eventually. We have to be careful not to allow those failures to make us become jaded to the entire human race. That can be very difficult. We have to remember that we, also, have failed someone, disappointed someone, or hurt someone deeply. I remember someone saying to me, "you can only disappoint someone who cares about you". We have to remember the little "good things" we have experienced from our fellow humans. And we have to remember that until we find happiness inside of ourselves, we'll never attain it from someone else.
Beautifully said.
Thank you!!
Whatever spirit that flows through you, it calls on me too. I had ambition to be a musician like you, and it was all I wanted but I failed at it until one day I met my true love, a beautiful and intelligent soul made in Omsk. My life changed in a whirlwind, she showed me beauty and love. The synchronicity that allowed me to meet her made me to start believing in God. The joy I felt was incredible. I've always had something in me untapped, the beautiful that she brings out in me and makes me realize what I always truly wanted was freedom and love. When I broke my finger in a machine, having the knuckle pop out, and possibly thought I couldnt play guitar again, which was my favorite thing to do in the world, I was happy and thankful because I felt like God is in charge and that my true purpose was to love and take care of her. Before I met her I was always aimless, cynical. She showed me things.The walks we would have, drawing squirrels, messaging each other aesthetic photos of the world around us. She got me to try art again, to read poetry, to see the beauty in the world. We didn't have a courting process, just pure honesty sharing everything about ourselves from day one, and accepting each other. But, like other things in my life, it comes crashing down. She lives in Moscow, and I'm in USA. Nobody around me understands our relationship, saying offensive things like to find another girl, or the men see women as replaceable sex objects and nothing else. I feel so isolated, and my weakness comes from taking on their cynical perspectives which confuse me. Ad then I feel resentful towards everyone around me because of it. (I enjoyed your poem I just read about forgiveness). When she stopped coming to New York because of her job, I met her in Estonia. We danced wildly seeing Gogol Bordello our favorite band. Then she could not renew her visa because of politics. So I went to Russia and had the time of my life. In Suzdal I saw the real soul of Russia. I pushed myself through the hellish баня, the slaps on my back felt like fire and I pushed myself until I passed out. I made it like a symbol of my undying resolve to be with her. And when I jumped in the cold pond around midnight, I came out and from the high caused by the extreme heat and extreme cold, the expanse of the Russian plains looked so beautiful, and I felt so good. Back in Moscow, I thought, sitting there with her family on New Year's Eve 2020, this will be the best year of my life, all the crappiness I went through has a reason: I will marry her. Then the 'thing' happened, and I hadn't seen her for 2 years until we met again in Cyprus. 2022 comes, I feel positive again that finally we will be together. The other 'thing' I was worried about finally happened. I've been crushed, angry, confused. I don't know what I will do but have no other purpose in life than to be with her. I don't know how I'll do it, but I have the calling of Love. Nobody seems to understand what she means to me, and how rare of a woman she is. She's like my lover, my mother, father, teacher, colleague. She is brave, fun, wild, mature, hard working, loving, intelligent. She's incredible. Maybe even too good for me, but the fact that she loves me must mean I am.
You should in no way regard this comment as dismissive as I fully understand the feelings you're talking about. I will say however that special and distinct loving relationships contain a seed ego because the focus of Love is not universal. For a deeper analysis of this dynamic u-tube Kenneth Wapnick on special relationships. God bless you
I was working through some things the other day, writing it out – though not with the eloquence that you have. 😁In the midst of the thoughts and words this one phrase kept rolling through my mind: love is life, and life is love. Blessings Tessa.
Thank you for your kind words, and amen to insisting on love!!
Years ago, at the start of the first Gulf War, I attended talk given to a small group of friends by native American elder Howard Badhand. He spoke about the impending darkness, and his advice was to not resist or fight the darkness directly, because he said that would divert our energy and put our focus in the wrong place. He said "Darkness will have its day. Our job is to be keepers of the Light through this time, to remember to sing, to dance, and to play with the children, so that when this is over there will still be those who remember and who have held the Light." (Paraphrased from memory.) Thank you Tessa for being a singing, dancing, playing (and like all of us, I suspect) sometimes crying, carrier of Light and Love.
"Caught in that sensual music all neglect
Monuments of unageing intellect."
W.B. Yeats, Sailing to Byzantium:
https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/43291/sailing-to-byzantiuImperfect%20People,%20Pedaling%20toward%20Happinessm
Resonates 🙏🏼🧡🙏🏼
kali yuga, no joke. but hopefully same deal with satya yuga
I just signed up with my email address, send me yours and I'll send you a poem from my latest book Let's Burn the Flags of All Nations...the poem's called Here Comes Kali Yuga
Thanks, Tessa.
Did you at least leave poor Elvis a pair of socks in exchange?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8uhlZ_Bc7ks
---------------
Possibly relevant tune below if you make it through the text...
We're encircled at 1-to-6 odds after surviving, for now, their armor and air assaults.
"They've got the guns but we've got the numbers."
That was more inspiring, if not more true, 50+ years ago when the Lizard King said it.
Humans might prevail - we might not.
If we do, then don't take too much personal credit - there has been a lot of luck so far.
If not, then don't fault yourselves - too many others were hypnotized and controlled.
Do not despair, one thief was saved.
Do not presume, the other was not.
If it turns out to have been "over a long time ago", then dance if & while you can.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wcud61ydCiA
------------------
Hopefully, these words from a half-century ago won't be emblematic to our current struggle.
“It seems like a lifetime, or at least a Main Era — the kind of peak that never comes again. San Francisco in the middle sixties was a very special time and place to be a part of. Maybe it meant something. Maybe not, in the long run... but no explanation, no mix of words or music or memories can touch that sense of knowing that you were there and alive in that corner of time and the world. Whatever it meant...
There was madness in any direction, at any hour. You could strike sparks anywhere. There was a fantastic universal sense that whatever we were doing was right, that we were winning...
And that, I think, was the handle — that sense of inevitable victory over the forces of Old and Evil. Not in any mean or military sense; we didn't need that. Our energy would simply PREVAIL. There was no point in fighting — on our side or theirs. We had all the momentum; we were riding the crest of a high and beautiful wave...
So now, less than five years later, you can go up on a steep hill in Las Vegas and look West, and with the right kind of eyes you can almost see the high water mark — that place where the wave finally broke, and rolled back.”
you guys are on the same wavelength.
https://angelovalidiya.substack.com/p/china-big-tech-big-pharma-and-elites?s=r
:❤️)
(Hmmm......somehow missed these little gems when they happened.)
Regarding "the wound" ~ as paraded by parents, danced with (or not) as adult children, I have personally dealt with this for most of my adult life and continue to do so.
For those aware of "the wound", being at least somewhat conscious of it inside them-- avoidance, denial, numbing it out with substances, distractions, prayer, meditation, persistent declarations/personal affirmations of wellness, etc. all of this is "dancing with our wound" and none of it works. Without deeper reflection and willingness to feel painful things, one is doomed to "dance this mess around" in perpetuity.
"The Wound" is, in essence, a traumatized child. One may see now the absurdity of dancing with this delicate creature rather than gently lifting it up into ones' arms.
What actually works is, of course, very obvious but difficult as hell to actually do: Attend to the wound with fearless love and caring.
This means doing what you most likely do not want to do: Acknowledge it. Be wounded. Feel the debilitating pain of it. See the horror of it. Smell the stink of it. Soak up the bloody goo dripping from it, toss the rags and then do it again and again and again until it starts to close up. I guarantee you, it will.
Like any other injury we suffer as humans, our natural bodily processes are always at work trying to fix emotional wounds but cannot due to our hearts' (feeling) attention remaining disconnected and distracted being "the survivor" that is not you, the socially-conditioned fake person you have agreed to be, who tries to tell you this is all nonsense and the "acceptable, likable phony" you think you are is, in fact, who you really are. This means one must "destroy the survivor" in order to attend the wound. This is done by recognizing the social conditioning within you, the hardened, callous "strong person", or perhaps the shallow, "happy-go-lucky, don't-give-a-shit" type who is content to joke about it all & feel nothing real of depth & substance.
On this path, one does not hate or fight "the survivor within" so much as notice them and say: "Okay, this is not me. I don't really know who I am yet, but I'm listening now & I will find out."
That's really all it takes. Time is on your side. Yes, a scar will always remain. The scar tissue will not have the nerve structure (ability to feel) it once did and you will never be "whole again" as you were before the injury or as you might be now had it never happened. But you will have recovered enough power within to discover and be your authentic, unique self. No longer will you be a typical, programmed idiot in service to that which keeps humans in miserable bondage. Never again will your unexamined past blind-side you, work against you & destroy your relationships leaving you scratching your head wondering what the hell happened.
Okay then. Everyone is wounded. Only the children of perfect humans are not. Of course, there are none of these. Parents "parade" their wounds and install them in their children because they can't help it. Emotional wounds within that have not been addressed and attended to leave us utterly incapable of loving and caring for the deeper emotional needs of a child. We may be able to feed & clothe them, to attend to their physical needs well enough to bring them into adulthood, but we cannot give to our child a quality of love we never knew & experienced for ourselves.
We just grow up stuck with our pain ~ either a crippling ton of it or, if we are lucky, a lesser amount that allows us to manage well enough to find and maintain satisfying relationships throughout our lives.
Here, I speak to those (like me) who have found themselves grappling with crippling tons of pain. The wound is where the deepest, most real part of your heart is. If you are feeling lonely, forgotten, unloved, depressed, self-loathing, suicidal, that's it-- that's the door. Don't turn and run. Open it. Strap on all the love & courage you can muster and enter the darkness. As you go inside, remember it's all just feelings and feelings pass. They may hurt like hell, but they won't kill you. Be there as long as you can. Leave if you have to, but promise to come back again and keep your promise. When you can, enter again. Listen for the cries. Find the hurt kid. Listen to what it needs from you and then deliver it.
Attending the wound brings real compassion for ourselves & others and restores knowledge of our true beauty, its' inescapable fragility. Emotional trauma has damaged our natural ability to emotionally feel reality as well as perceive it intellectually. We need the whole enchilada don't we? We need to experience every single day our natural, connected state of blissful harmony with all that is, the way a child so easily does.
By our feelings we are torn. By our feelings are we mended.