Smart Cattlewear for All the Citizens, Please, Sooner

I wish I were joking but unless we wake up and refuse to do this, we'll be wearing smart cattlewear

Let us talk about smartmasks.

Ever since the beginning of the COVID saga, I’ve suspected that one of its end goals was to normalize “smart” facewear. Little by little, circumstance by circumstance, message by message—and in the end of the trajectory, everybody would wear smartmasks and other smart devices for the head and assume it’s normal.

Normalizing “smart” facewear is a win-win for all fascists. It’s a very lucrative “product adoption curve” for Big Tech—and extremely consistent with how they’ve been going about their “product adoption curves” since day one of the industry’s existence. It is also tremendously useful to the totalitarian types in the gov. And the treasure trove of yummy “new oil” biometric data for the delight of all fascists? Dear God, there will be so much yummy biometric data!

Hello, Smartmask? Hello, New Normal?

With great sadness, I must point my finger in the direction of the signs showing that my crazy conspiratorial thought process was on the money.

This little company, ZELP (funded by the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation and touted by Prince Charles) is putting “smart” facewear on cows first (hence the word “cattlewear”). However, for the overlords, human beings are a mere resource, and it makes all the sense in the world for them to mandate smart facewear for the people next.

ZELPʼs oxidation technology works by routing the methane exhaled by cattle through a catalytic mechanism arranged within a patented energy recovery-system. The methane gets oxidised, resulting in a combination of CO2 and water vapor, which significantly reduces its contribution to global warming.
The energy recovery system, allows us to repurpose the energy from the continuous methane oxidations, greatly reducing the need for batteries.

PROPRIETARY AI & MACHINE LEARNING: Our hardware is equipped with sensors that continuously collect millions of data points on the animals [←- yep], which are processed in real time by our proprietary machine learning algorithms. Our AI is trained to detect heat, flag welfare conditions, and identify the most efficient animals with a high-level of accuracy.

CATTLE MONITORING APP [←-exactly!!]: Our hardware is equipped with sensors that continuously collect millions of data points on the animals, which are processed in real time by our proprietary machine learning algorithms. Our AI is trained to detect heat, flag welfare conditions, and identify the most efficient animals with a high-level of accuracy.

Critical Sway @CriticalSway

In brief... • Cows belch methane, which the mask purportedly converts to CO2 as it comes out into the atmosphere • Farmers rent the devices, so that they can label their meat as more environmentally friendly • Zelp doubles down on the scam by selling carbon offset credits

SOURCE

And here is the sequence of normalizing smartmasks:

• Wear a mask for COVID and don’t be a despicable grandma killer

• Wear a mask for all respiratory diseases

• Air quality sucks, here is a smartmask that’ll filter your air

• Oh and by the way, it will also monitor your vitals and help you be a healthier person

• Oh, and it will also convert your waste to something very good for the planet (we have not thought of what exactly it will be but trust us, it will be very good for the planet)

• Wear a smartmask for the planet and don’t be a despicable planet killer

• And if you don’t, we will fine you, and fine your building, your employer, your church, your temple, and your kindergarten

• So just wear a smarkmask, would you?

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