How do we do this?
Forgivenss does not absolve the one who harmed you. It does not lessen the need for justice. It does dissolve the power they have over you, releasing you, so you are free to be you again.
A beautiful, much-needed contemplation. Thank you, Tessa.
I have been thinking a lot about the concept of forgiveness lately. The difficulty seems overwhelming at times. This piece seems to have touched on the feminine (which is not to say "inferior") aspects of it. It speaks to me in some important way that I can't quite describe.
But there is a wall (and maybe it's a masculine wall) that I still struggle with. I get the sense that a lot of men feel it; the need to counterattack and prevail over the predators before forgiveness even becomes an option. I'm sure that way has its flaws (particularly when it comes to those nearby "flowers" you speak of). But as you say, each soul's journey is its own. Maybe both approaches are necessary.
Food for thought, in any case. Thanks, Tessa.
I can relate to this, thank you for articulating it so beautifully. Something I have been struggling with when it comes to this mess we are in, and that you referred to, is all the "future forgiving" I know I will need to do. It's like my soul and nervous system know that this whole thing is a long way from over, and I sense the future pain in my bones. My heart feels sad about the future repair that may or may not happen in my lifetime.
This one spoke to me, deeply. Thank you, dear Tessa.
This weekend is Canadian Thanksgiving. Struggling to forgive family who are captured by the narrative. Who are so ignorant and judgemental. The pain is such that it feels like the love is gone. How can I be grateful for those who say they love me, but who also persecute me? A question for many no doubt. I choose to believe that time heals all wounds. But how much time? There are risks, age related as well as jab related. How many of us will see people we love die without having reconciled? I take heart that I know I am not alone in asking this question.
Thank you for your [as always] thought provoking post. I am grateful for you ❤
Wow. Really beautiful and therapeutic too. And, I learned a new word: Wobblyfolk.
I can't wait for the book! But seriously, it's helpful. Thank you.
Hi Tessa. I just found you through C and C. I loved reading this tonight. I yearn for an apology, but I am trying to let that go. Instead, I will adopt your prayer.
Beautiful piece. Although no mention of God or Christ, it should resonate with Christians.
I feel so irritated when I see parents (still) masking their children. I need to print this bit on a card and carry it close at hand: “If we waste our energy on being overly frustrated over strangers, we’ll be in a perpetual battle with thousands of people, and that’s not a happy existence.”
Wondering where is the line between the wobbly and the predator?
Aren't predator and prey context specific? Aren't we all in different contexts both predators and prey?
You capture the machine very well. Really. But then aren't we all part machine?
Not finding excuses for anyone. There are people and organizations that are doing horrible acts. Truth, accountability and justice are a must. Forgiveness is a must, and it can only start by us forgiving ourselves.
flowers in the wind, when sprayed with toxic chemicals, become toxic to those who eat them.
so it seems to me that our energy is most usefully spent if we disengage as much as we can from that deadly dynamic and find soil that isn't polluted. easier said than done, i know. but we aren't alone, even though a lot of the time it feels like we are.
and maybe it's time to do like dr. david martin has been suggesting and do some real building. like, with hammers and nails. or at least figuring out where we're going to get the nails and who's going to take turns hammering.
I really appreciate you sharing this, it’s exactly how I’ve been feeling over the last few days... we’re gonna make it through the darkness I’m sure. Blessings to you and our fellow humans :)
Forgiveness heals. It heals both the person who is forgiving, and the person forgiven. Failure to forgive means not only keeping yourself sick spiritually, but inflicting spiritual harm on someone else, interfering with their ability to relate to God's forgiveness.
We cannot change the past, but we can learn from it, turn away from the bad things, and let it be water under the bridge.
God has forgiven me, but some human beings refuse to do so. I am forgiven by the one Being Who truly matters in the long run. Who are we to refuse to forgive a person God has already forgiven? I am free to refuse the condemnation of someone for a sin Jesus already paid for, particularly when what I did had no real impact on someone else's life, but arises from a simple disagreement. We have to learn to agree to disagree. We have to learn to live and let live. It is not within my prerogative to build walls around other people's lives. Nor is it within the prerogative of anyone else to build a wall around me.
The problem of lack of forgiveness is especially egregious when the accused never did/said what he is accused of. This has happened to me frequently. It is an aggression and an attack on a human being made in God's image.
And so I strive always to forgive others, and pray that they will in turn forgive me.
Thank you Tessa!
Forgiveness is the action of a heart (soul) filled with love. Only a loving heart can truly forgive. This forgiveness also ‘breaks’ the karmic cycle and will be no repetition in coming incarnations.
Beautiful words. Thanks for sharing.
Just look at how the comments lit-up. You hit a nerve--I mean you struck a chord! (Big difference there ;-)
I see these people as the adult children of alcoholics.
They aren't directly abusive, but have learned to placate the hard headed abusive system and it's leadership.
That's why a friend couldn't dare to think that her brother's lymphoma was caused by the jabs , even though the timing was spot on.
I told her about the Atlantic article of the doctor that got cancer from his latest booster and she felt like that's a rare story (even though it friggin happened to her brother!)
I had to look at her as a child to understand this illogical shit and not get angry.
In adults, I can't stand lack of common sense and sheer stupidity.
But seeing them as a child, makes it more understandable.
No wonder why the education system is the way it is... To keep kids from having freedom from having to "produce" -grades etc. This is what stunts them at a child level emotionally and intuitively.