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Long-Distance Kissing Machine
Thank goodness they have thought of it, what took them so long.
For the record, I said some time ago that this would happen. And it’s not like I was being particularly prophetic, it’s just that the war on touch has been in the air for years. And before that, sorry to say, for centuries. And this whole thing with social distancing and scaring the crap out of people so that they would be too terrified to touch others has not been a coincidence. Loving touch is a great defense against malicious psychological terrorism. They’ve done studies (yes, the very valuable studies, without which we are not allowed to claim expertise) showing that the children deprived of loving touch have a much harder time being whole.
A Chinese start-up has invented a long-distance kissing machine that transmits users’ kiss data collected through motion sensors hidden in silicon lips, which simultaneously move when replaying kisses received.
MUA – named after the sound people commonly make when blowing a kiss – also captures and replays sound and warms up slightly during kissing, making the experience more authentic, said Beijing-based Siweifushe.
Users can even download kissing data submitted via an accompanying app by other users. The invention was inspired by lockdown isolation. At their most severe, China’s lockdowns saw authorities forbid residents to leave their apartments for months on end.
“I was in a relationship back then, but I couldn’t meet my girlfriend due to lockdowns,” said inventor Zhao Jianbo.
Then a student at the Beijing Film Academy, he focused his graduate project on the lack of physical intimacy in video calls. He later set up Siweifushe which released MUA, its first product, on 22 January. The device is priced at 260 yuan ($38).
In the two weeks after its release, the firm sold over 3,000 kissing machines and received about 20,000 orders, he said.
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